The whistle blew. That was it, I couldn’t turn back now even if I wanted to. The train jolted and then started onwards to its and my destination. Edinburgh. I have only lived in London a year and already it was home to me, now I have to make one of the worst journeys of my life, and do it alone.
The train seems to be going at a deadly pace, I know that it is just pulling out of the station but I need it to be in Edinburgh now. My sister and her boyfriend will already be there.
I pressed my forehead against the cold window and as if by synchronisation a rain drop travels down the glass as a tear escapes from my left eye. The sky was a dull grey and the rain was starting to fall faster, all I could feel was empty. I closed my eyes but all I could see was his face staring back at me, smiling. A hand touched me on my shoulder and I jumped. It was only the ticket inspector, he apologised for making me jump. He asked me if there was something wrong as he could tell I had been crying. I told him I had to get back home to Edinburgh to say goodbye to my dad before he falls asleep forever. He told me he was sorry, and reached into his pocket for a tissue so I could wipe my eyes. I thanked him and he continued on his way checking tickets with the occasional look back over his shoulder at me. It was only then that I noticed that I wasn’t alone in the carriage, there was a young mum and her son sitting opposite me. They just smiled at me and she carried on reading to her son.
I continued to look out of the window and noticed I only had about another 30 minutes before I would be there. I had to wipe my eyes and be brave, especially for my dad. I know he would not want to see me upset, besides I needed to phone my mum to let her know I wasn’t far away.
I can feel the train slowing down, I have to compose myself but I feel paralysed for I know today is the last time I will ever see my dad. It hurts to know he will never walk me down the isle or hold my children, his grandchildren.
I can see the station coming into view, the train slowed completely down. I got up and walked to the door. The train stopped, I stepped off the train and saw my sister standing there, her face stained with tears. We held each other tight and then slowly walked towards the car, our hands entwined as one. We inhaled the cold wintery wind and continued onwards.
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